Sis Masterbation
“C’mon, A.” Even without looking, Alaina could feel the mirth in her friend’s voice. “It’s funny. It’s really funny. You’ve got borderline superpowers like in comics, but somehow even the idea of anal is your kryptonite. And the funniest part is you don’t even have a reason for it! When was the last time you even thought about using a toilet? Saturday before you went to Will’s?”“It’s not funny, Ay. And I’m still never going to do it.”“Just because that one guy—”“Don’t. I’m serious. Don’t bring it up.”“Okay, okay, I know. I’m sorry, A. Look, let’s just pretend none of that happened just now. That’s five quirks, what’s the last one?”Alaina sighed, finally turning away from the window. “The last one’s pretty tame. I have a ... One percent chance? No, a point-one percent chance that any time I go somewhere that I’ve previously had sex with Will, I’ll get horny again.”“That’s it?”“Yup.”“That seems, um, pretty trivial? Am I missing something?”“Nope, that’s it.”“Huh. Well none of those seem. Are you hungry?” “I’m not hungry right now but I’m exhausted! Maybe let’s get to bed early? Unless you had plans for us!” “I assumed you would have wanted to go out but staying in sounds great to me!” I said. I had a one bedroom apartment, so I brought her bag into my room and put it on the floor beside my dresser. She was getting in the shower, and I laid in bed thinking about how great she looked. I could not believe how different she looked from college. Scenarios of that night ran through my head about being able to kiss her or even just being able to stare at her completely naked before I could touch her perfect body. But who was I kidding. She probably had a boyfriend and most likely only came to visit me because I didn’t live far from the city. “Ah! Much better! Are you getting in?” she asked. “Yeah I will! Just give me 5 minutes! I’ll be right out,” I said. I stepped into the steamy bathroom and showered quickly in the hopes that she would still be in a towel and bent.
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